


Angels and Anatomy

by the_roots_that_clutch



Category: Dominion (TV)
Genre: Alex/Claire mentioned, Bad Puns, Crack, Ethan Mack/Michael, Ethan Mack/William Whele, Ethan is tired of everyone's shit, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Mild Language, Multi, Noma/Arika mentioned, One-Sided Attraction, Past Alex/Noma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-02-18
Packaged: 2018-03-13 15:51:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3387503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_roots_that_clutch/pseuds/the_roots_that_clutch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Higher angels can look like humans, right? So they can choose to look however they want.”</p><p>Something off the wall is coming, Ethan knows it. </p><p>“I bet they have huge dicks.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Angels and Anatomy

**Author's Note:**

> This is complete and utter crack. Set sometime before we find out Noma is an angel.

Angels and Anatomy

It’s all Noma’s fault, really. She’s the one who brought it up. Ethan swears he’s never thought about Michael’s dick before then. Not that he’s thinking about it now. Not much.

Okay, so there’s like this mild curiosity about Michael’s sword both the figurative one and the literal one he’s far more likely to meet. Because Michael knows. And Noma’s to blame. He’ll go to his grave saying that; totally Noma’s fault.

It happens like this.

*

The thing is Ethan’s being gay isn’t a thing. He’s honest when someone asks, unless he thinks they’re going to be an asshole about it, or he’s trying to reject some asshole without being an asshole himself. So yeah, he admits it. (Though he doesn’t like to say ‘admits’ because that word sort of implies some sort of wrong doing and there is nothing wrong with the things he does. They are oh so right. He knows, he’s gotten plenty of compliments and no complaints. Except that one guy, but that doesn’t count.)

He admits it, but he doesn’t go around broadcasting it. Why the fuck would he? It isn’t like Alex goes around announcing he’s straight, or Noma goes around yelling she’s bisexual. Well, she wouldn’t, because she hasn’t figured it out yet, but Ethan has by the way she talks about Madam Arika. And he sure as hell isn’t going to tell her, because that’s one of those things people have to work out for themselves. Plus, having Alex banging Claire is bad enough; he doesn’t need Noma screwing Arika on top of that.

What is with his friends and powerful women? He gets the appeal; power is appealing. But he has this motto, which is not to screw with people who could screw you over. Don’t fuck with their shit and don’t fuck _them_. That’s the problem with Alex; he doesn’t know how to walk away. Sure, he could like Claire, maybe even have a bit of a flirt with her, because who the hell did it hurt? You know, look but don’t touch. Then go home, think up a good fantasy and do some of your own touching.

Ethan isn’t above a good fantasy himself. But he knows where the line is and not to cross it. Nicking some stuff from Whele? All good, can’t prove it was him. Fucking his son? Strictly fantasy land. And yeah, he’s worked a few out thinking about William, because he’s got that forbidden fruit thing going for him. David Whele is one scary motherfucker and a lot of bad, painful things could happen if he touched his son. Then there’s the whole holy man of faith and righteousness he’s got going on, which makes him untouchable, which of course makes you want to touch. But Ethan _wouldn’_ t, because he isn’t suicidality stupid.

He thinks he probably could, even if William is completely straight, just because it would piss his dad off. Daddy issues tend to lead to doing things dear old dad wouldn’t approve of, and sometimes those things are people. And he’s been stationed on guard duty at the Whele house only a few times, but it’s enough to know there’s a metric shit ton of issues there. Their issues have issues that have issues. The point is that he may make love to his right hand while thinking about William, but he wouldn’t be dumb enough to _do_ anything. And Alex missed out on that very important lesson about self-control. Ethan’s trying to explain it to him, minus William because Alex is enough of shitwit that he’d encourage him to go for it. (For his own benefit as much as Ethan’s, no doubt.)

Noma ever so wisely steers the conversation away from that time bomb. “Speaking of illicit affairs, I heard the archangel had a woman in his room.”

Alex pulls a face. “Michael?”

Noma shrugs. “He’s not bad looking.”

“He’s a dick.” Alex says, but without venom.

Ethan glances around to make sure no one overheard, but they’re alone in the baric. “A good looking dick.”

Noma tilts her head slightly to the side, sliding into her thinking-face. It’s what Ethan calls it; Noma has promised to name his if she ever catches him thinking, something she says is unlikely. This is the nature of their friendship; the more they rag on each other, the more they care. Ethan knows her well enough to know they’re about to get into some weird territory. “Higher angels can look like humans, right? So they can choose to look however they want.”

Something off the wall is coming, Ethan knows it. He is not prepared for what Noma says next.

“I bet they have huge dicks.”

Alex isn’t prepared either, because he and Ethan are wearing matching expressions of horror and intrigue. Okay, maybe the intrigue is only Ethan’s. But it’s a good point. “If I got to choose I’d give myself one.” Noma’s mouth takes a sly curl and he adds quickly, “Not that there’s anything wrong with the one I have now.”

“Explains how Michael is getting laid.” Noma says. “It’s not his warm and inviting disposition.”

Alex laughs in agreement. Ethan tries to think about Michael and sex. That’s just bizarre. It’s like thinking about kittens and blenders; the two don’t mix and if they do it ends bloody. Besides, everyone knows that if you get to the point you see a guy’s dick, the sex is eminent. Unless you’re a soldier, then you see about fifty dicks a day in the public shower. And that’s if you aren’t looking, which he isn’t, because he’s not a barbarian.

“It’s probably awkward when they get to ‘oh my god’ parts. Calling out dad’s name has to damper the mood.”

It’s the sexuality crisis; it has to be. She’s in the ‘I love penis’ stage, in denial or something. There’s no other reason he can think of that Noma is so interested in Michael’s sex life. Or his dick. Which probably isn’t even that big anyway, because why would he bother? It’s hard to imagine him ever doing something as _human_ as having sex. Losing all that calm composure, sweating and moaning, disheveled hair and darkened eyes. Michael’s way to in control to give into those sort of base desires. But then, Michael probably would be in control. He could probably keep that calm, even tone he always spoke in while the other person was panting and moaning and clinging and begging…

And he’s not thinking about it. Definitely not thinking about it.

“Not everyone’s a screamer.” Alex says casually. And that’s interesting, because neither of them really talk about their past relationship. Ethan was there to witness the rise and fall and help pick up the pieces. Maybe it means Noma is finally moving on.

“I do not scream.”

Alex laughs. “I had to put my hand over your mouth to keep us from getting caught.”

“That was just an excuse to indulge your weird fetish.” Noma fires back, grinning.

Great, now he’s thinking about Michael putting a hand over his mouth to keep him quiet. To silence him while he holds him down and fucks him into within an inch of his _life_. Hard and rough, while he speaks filthy in that damn voice of his. There may be wings involved. Ethan isn’t sure how they’d fit in, but he’s a creative guy, he’d think of something. Maybe they could do it on the ceiling, though that might have some safety issues.

Alex’s voice tears him away from his thoughts. “At least I don’t have an angel fetish.”

“I don’t have an angel fetish.” Noma and Ethan say at once. Noma has a laugh in her voice; Ethan sounds guilty. Obviously, Alex was talking to Noma. Teasing her. And Ethan sounds like the kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar. Of course, Noma and Alex jump on it.

Noma leans toward him grinning. “The archangel is just so unflappable; you thinking about getting him riled up-

“Ruffle his feathers.” Alex adds, like the dirty traitor he is.

“Sheath his sword.” Noma waggles her eyebrows suggestively.

“Would you stop talking about Michael’s dick?” Ethan cries. At the same time Michael turns the corner.

Fuck his life.

Noma is immediately back in soldier mood, perfect posture and red-faced, and wisely silent. Ethan is gaping while Alex just looks amused. “We were talking about someone else. Our friend Michael. From work.” Ethan glances over to Alex desperately. “Alex, tell him about our friend Michael.”

Michael glances at him and Noma briefly, that unhelpfully neutral expression on his face. Then he goes back to ignoring them. “Alex.”

Alex stands up. “Duty calls.”

He walks away with Michael, who doesn’t so much as look at them again. Noma’s mouth falls open as soon as he leaves, a breath rushing out. Ethan puts his head in his hands. “We’re so getting fired.”


End file.
